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I'm obviously younger, much better looking [then Jeorge W.Bush].He didn't veto things, he didn't bring order and fiscal restraint.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Much
Younger
Things
Bush
Obviously
Bring
Looking
Order
Veto
Didn
Fiscal
Better
Restraint
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.
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(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
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If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
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I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.
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It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.
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A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
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We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.
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I'm more American than apple pie. I'm like apple pie, with a hot dog in it.
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Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
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If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.
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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
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Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don't need to care about science, literature or peace.
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What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
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I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
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Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
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I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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