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Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Believe
Republicans
Eight
Evolution
Republican
Percent
Hand
Five
Monkeys
Hands
Sixty

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If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
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I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.
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It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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