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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Moving
Achieved
History
Moves
Hard
Corporations
Believe
Gay
Years
Fast
Americans
Full
Personhood
Five
Constitutional

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
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After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
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Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
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I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.
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There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
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If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
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I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
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I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.
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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.
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Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
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(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
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Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
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We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.
Stephen Colbert
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You are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what's going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say 'yes.' And if you're lucky, you'll find people who will say 'yes' back.
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If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
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