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News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Religion
Soviet
Form
Union
Human
Unions
Godless
Humans
Worship
Worshipped
Without
Blue
Inescapable
Never
News
Societies
Like
Society
Jeans
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Communist

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.
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No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
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If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
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Yes, President Romney will not take God off our coins. And that is so important because right now, just like God, the value of our currency really has to be taken on faith.
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You have to have a passionate opinion otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
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Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.
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When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.
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Foreign newspapers: if they've got nothing to hide, how come they don't print them in English?
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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The more you know, the sadder you get.
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
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(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
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If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.
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I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
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We have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics. Like it's not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course, there - there isn't.
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