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News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Religion
Soviet
Form
Union
Human
Unions
Godless
Humans
Worship
Worshipped
Without
Blue
Inescapable
Never
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Societies
Like
Society
Jeans
Point
Communist

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don't need to care about science, literature or peace.
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
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I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
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I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
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Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
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Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.
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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.
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It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
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I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
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Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.
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Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.
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Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
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Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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