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I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Almost
Anyone
Talk
Interesting
Find
Something
Really

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
Stephen Colbert
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Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.
Stephen Colbert
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
Stephen Colbert
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Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.
Stephen Colbert
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
Stephen Colbert
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Cardinal Dolan, of course, has a very, very hard job: trying to hold up Catholic family values in sexually liberal New York City. I'm not saying New York is the Gay Mecca. But it's at least Gay-rusalem.
Stephen Colbert
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What are the origins of dressage? Did just, one day, some young horse say to his dad, 'Dad, I don't want to charge into battle...I just wanna dance'?
Stephen Colbert
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I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart.
Stephen Colbert
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In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say congratulations.
Stephen Colbert
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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
Stephen Colbert
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If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
Stephen Colbert
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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
Stephen Colbert
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
Stephen Colbert
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Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
Stephen Colbert
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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
Stephen Colbert
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I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.
Stephen Colbert
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
Stephen Colbert
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You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
Stephen Colbert
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
Stephen Colbert
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Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.
Stephen Colbert