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Will Herman Cain become the first black President that I acknowledge? I call him a dark horse because he's an unlikely candidate who surged forward, and not because he's a horse.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
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Cain
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Unlikely
Become
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Surged
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
Stephen Colbert
What are the origins of dressage? Did just, one day, some young horse say to his dad, 'Dad, I don't want to charge into battle...I just wanna dance'?
Stephen Colbert
I am no fan of books.
Stephen Colbert
I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
Stephen Colbert
I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
Stephen Colbert
They think I'm silly. I do silly things. I fall down and run into things. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll hold a pickup stick to my ear and say, What? What's that? I can't hear you
Stephen Colbert
If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
Stephen Colbert
You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
Stephen Colbert
In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say congratulations.
Stephen Colbert
it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
Stephen Colbert
What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They're like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don't think of as malleable.
Stephen Colbert
If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
Stephen Colbert
Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
Stephen Colbert
If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
Stephen Colbert
The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
Stephen Colbert
In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
Stephen Colbert
(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
Stephen Colbert
If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.
Stephen Colbert
In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
Stephen Colbert
Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
Stephen Colbert