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Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Understands
Italian
Selling
International
Issues
Experience
Cain
Pizza
Domestic
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.
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I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
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We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.
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When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner.
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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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I'm impervious to logic.
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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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Foreign newspapers: if they've got nothing to hide, how come they don't print them in English?
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Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.
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I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
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If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking.
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No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
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I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
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You are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what's going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say 'yes.' And if you're lucky, you'll find people who will say 'yes' back.
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What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
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