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We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Come
River
Looks
Judge
Thing
Rivers
Like
Judging
Toward
Experience
Next
Look
Flowing
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
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Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.
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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
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My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.
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I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.
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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
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I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
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Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.
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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
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Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
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A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
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It's a game. That's why we call it 'the news.' It's just a game.
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As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!
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I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
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