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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Block
John
Habit
Unless
Confirmation
Blocks
Speaker
Speakers

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Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.
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What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They're like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don't think of as malleable.
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You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.
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Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
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Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.
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The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.
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I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.
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Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American.
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In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.
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Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
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If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
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The more you know, the sadder you get.
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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
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When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.
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I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
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If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
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