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I hadn't intended to end up there. I meant to be a serious actor with a beard who wore a lot of black and wanted to share his misery with you.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Black
Intended
Ends
Hadn
Wanted
Misery
Meant
Actor
Serious
Share
Beard
Actors
Wore
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
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Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
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I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.
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The more you know, the sadder you get.
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If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.
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My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
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NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
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I'm getting angry at liberals.
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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
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Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?
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No one has any idea what's going to happen. Not even Elon Musk. That's why he's building those rockets. He wants a 'Plan B' on another world.
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You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
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The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.
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Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.
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I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
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Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
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If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
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They think I'm silly. I do silly things. I fall down and run into things. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll hold a pickup stick to my ear and say, What? What's that? I can't hear you
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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
Stephen Colbert
