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Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don't need to care about science, literature or peace.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
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George
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More quotes by Stephen Colbert
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
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I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
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If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
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I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.
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Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
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If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?
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People would say, Oh, you say you just do jokes. I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.
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brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.
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If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
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Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.
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