Quote

We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Claim
Surrender
Claims
Jokes
Anything
Respectability
Would
Status
Defend
Joke

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
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The greatest threat facing American today - next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark beetle, and the memory foam mattress - is the national news media.
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President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
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Some people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who can slip under your guard with a knife. But if you watch what I do, that's almost never the case. I'm just trying to keep the balloon in the air. It rarely turns into anything combative.
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You are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what's going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say 'yes.' And if you're lucky, you'll find people who will say 'yes' back.
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If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?
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I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
Stephen Colbert
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There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
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I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
Stephen Colbert
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
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Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
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It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
Stephen Colbert
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What are the origins of dressage? Did just, one day, some young horse say to his dad, 'Dad, I don't want to charge into battle...I just wanna dance'?
Stephen Colbert
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
Stephen Colbert
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After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
Stephen Colbert