Quote

Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Jokes
Mitt
Plan
Bias
Taxes
Romney
Yeah
Liberal
Plans
Silver
Doesn
Add
Reason
Math
Mathematics

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.
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We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
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Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
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Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
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I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.
Stephen Colbert
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Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.
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And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
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We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.
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It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
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If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
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If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.
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It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
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Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.
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Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
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I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
Stephen Colbert
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First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.
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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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