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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
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Loud
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People

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
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Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian.
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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
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Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
Stephen Colbert
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Yes, President Romney will not take God off our coins. And that is so important because right now, just like God, the value of our currency really has to be taken on faith.
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Will Herman Cain become the first black President that I acknowledge? I call him a dark horse because he's an unlikely candidate who surged forward, and not because he's a horse.
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Football is American why are the Romans numering our bowls?!
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And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
Stephen Colbert
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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
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You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
Stephen Colbert
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Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.
Stephen Colbert
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I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
Stephen Colbert