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I do my show half-hour a night four nights a week. I haven't seen my kids in 18 months, and I am losing calcium in my bones. Doctors say I should stop. I'm not going to.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Hours
Havens
Half
Haven
Show
Losing
Night
Months
Calcium
Shows
Week
Nights
Kids
Seen
Bones
Going
Stop
Doctors
Four
Hour

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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I imagined myself living in New York in some sort of open, large but sparse studio apartment with a lot of blond wood and a futon on the floor and a bubbling samovar of tea in the background and a big beard - living alone but with my beard - and doing theater. That's what I thought my life would be.
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I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!
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Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
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A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
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We have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics. Like it's not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course, there - there isn't.
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The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
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I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
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The greatest threat facing American today - next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark beetle, and the memory foam mattress - is the national news media.
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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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Truthiness is What I say is right, and [nothing] anyone else says could possibly be true. It's not only that I feel it to be true, but that I feel it to be true. There's not only an emotional quality, but there's a selfish quality.
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If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
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A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
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I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
Stephen Colbert
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And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name I'm not changing it.
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