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I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Table
Tables
Anybody
Potato
Potatoes
Toes

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
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For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
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Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.
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A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
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It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
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Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all okay.
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Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?
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There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.
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In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
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I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
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You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.
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New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
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What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They're like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don't think of as malleable.
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Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
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Will Herman Cain become the first black President that I acknowledge? I call him a dark horse because he's an unlikely candidate who surged forward, and not because he's a horse.
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Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.
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Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.
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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
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Mentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.
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