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I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Religion
Doesn
Mean
Make
Infallible
Pope
Mistakes
Mistake

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Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
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Football is American why are the Romans numering our bowls?!
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The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
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If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
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I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
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There's a wonderfully cooperative relationship between management and labor right now. Much like the historic partnership between oranges and a juicer.
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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
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My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'
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Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.
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Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
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North Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'
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I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part of the show that can most surprise me. The written part of the show, I know I can get wrong. You can't really get the interview wrong.
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