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I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Mean
Make
Infallible
Pope
Mistakes
Mistake
Religion
Doesn

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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
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No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
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After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
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Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?
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Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.
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The more you know, the sadder you get.
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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
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Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. Performing the show is far more athletic and intuitive, because you don't get to do it twice. It helps if you've done whatever the old saw is, 10,000 hours of it. Because I've done 10,000 hours of comedy, I have this database in my mind of what works and what doesn't work.
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Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.
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In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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I'm getting angry at liberals.
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