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I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Minutes
Executive
Takes
Producer
Every
Accused
Executives
Host
Producers
Minute
Writer
Unambitious
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
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There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
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There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.
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Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.
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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.
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I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
Stephen Colbert
I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.
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What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!
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Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
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North Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'
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Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.
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Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.
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I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
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If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?
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Obamacare takes effect in less than eight months. Do you realize what this means? If you go to the emergency room now, you'll be covered by the time you finally see a doctor.
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If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
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