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I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Producers
Minute
Writer
Unambitious
Minutes
Executive
Takes
Producer
Every
Accused
Executives
Host

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
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If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
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Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.
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I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
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North Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'
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Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.
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Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
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No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
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I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
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If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
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My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
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Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.
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I hadn't intended to end up there. I meant to be a serious actor with a beard who wore a lot of black and wanted to share his misery with you.
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If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
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Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. Performing the show is far more athletic and intuitive, because you don't get to do it twice. It helps if you've done whatever the old saw is, 10,000 hours of it. Because I've done 10,000 hours of comedy, I have this database in my mind of what works and what doesn't work.
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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