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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Deliver
Hot
Truth
Hard

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.
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I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.
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Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
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Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.
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The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.
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Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
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My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.
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Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don't need to care about science, literature or peace.
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This is America. I don't want a tomato picked by a Mexican. I want it picked by an American, then sliced by a Guatemalan and served by a Venezuelan in a spa where a Chilean gives me a Brazilian.
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Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
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What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They're like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don't think of as malleable.
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For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
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I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.
Stephen Colbert
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In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
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I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.
Stephen Colbert
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
Stephen Colbert
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
Stephen Colbert
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Truthiness is What I say is right, and [nothing] anyone else says could possibly be true. It's not only that I feel it to be true, but that I feel it to be true. There's not only an emotional quality, but there's a selfish quality.
Stephen Colbert