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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Psyche
Brings
Laughter
National
Inspirational
Swelling

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When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
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If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
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Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!
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Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
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In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.
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I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.
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Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.
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If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
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