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Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Stomach
Thirty
Married
Single
Malt
Going
Scotch
Years
Settle
Settling
Hey

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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.
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Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
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Yesterday in a 25 to 24 vote, Republicans welcomed back Lott back into their leadership and named him minority whip. That is great for Trent. They say minority whip is a stepping stone to Grand Wizard.
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I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
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My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.
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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
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I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.
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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
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You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
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I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
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Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.
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I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
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I am no fan of books.
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