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Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Bliss
Questions
Sex
Asking
Ignorance
Many
Great
Oedipus
Life
Ruined

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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Equations are the devil's sentences.
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Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.
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Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
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Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.
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I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
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If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?
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And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name I'm not changing it.
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My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.
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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.
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Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.
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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.
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No one has any idea what's going to happen. Not even Elon Musk. That's why he's building those rockets. He wants a 'Plan B' on another world.
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A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
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In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
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I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
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Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.
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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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