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If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Make
Raise
Raises
Taxes
Exist
Fact
Incentive
Facts
Incentives
Money
Sole
Reason
Corporations

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I'm more American than apple pie. I'm like apple pie, with a hot dog in it.
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Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.
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Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
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Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.
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I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.
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I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.
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New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
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I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
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I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
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If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
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As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!
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I imagined myself living in New York in some sort of open, large but sparse studio apartment with a lot of blond wood and a futon on the floor and a bubbling samovar of tea in the background and a big beard - living alone but with my beard - and doing theater. That's what I thought my life would be.
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I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.
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And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name I'm not changing it.
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If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
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A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
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I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart.
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Will Herman Cain become the first black President that I acknowledge? I call him a dark horse because he's an unlikely candidate who surged forward, and not because he's a horse.
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