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If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Fact
Incentive
Facts
Incentives
Money
Sole
Reason
Corporations
Make
Raise
Raises
Taxes
Exist
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
I'm getting angry at liberals.
Stephen Colbert
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and Republicans alike....We voted for the people who voted for it, and then voted for the people who reauthorized it, then voted for the people who re-re-authorize d it.
Stephen Colbert
Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
Stephen Colbert
It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
Stephen Colbert
If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?
Stephen Colbert
Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.
Stephen Colbert
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.
Stephen Colbert
Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
Stephen Colbert
There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
Stephen Colbert
I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart.
Stephen Colbert
And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
Stephen Colbert
Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.
Stephen Colbert
Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'
Stephen Colbert
We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very crafted, controlled environment.
Stephen Colbert
The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
Stephen Colbert
I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
Stephen Colbert
I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
Stephen Colbert
If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.
Stephen Colbert
Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
Stephen Colbert
I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
Stephen Colbert