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I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Stomach
Cocoon
Cocoons
Butterflies
Butterfly

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.
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Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.
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Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.
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If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.
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Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
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The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.
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I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.
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I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
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Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
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Equations are the devil's sentences.
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We have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics. Like it's not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course, there - there isn't.
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
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I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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