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Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Pissing
Peta
Kitten
Pie
Delicious
Easy
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
Stephen Colbert
If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?
Stephen Colbert
I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
Stephen Colbert
The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.
Stephen Colbert
(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
Stephen Colbert
If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
Stephen Colbert
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and Republicans alike....We voted for the people who voted for it, and then voted for the people who reauthorized it, then voted for the people who re-re-authorize d it.
Stephen Colbert
News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.
Stephen Colbert
There's a wonderfully cooperative relationship between management and labor right now. Much like the historic partnership between oranges and a juicer.
Stephen Colbert
Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.
Stephen Colbert
I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
Stephen Colbert
Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
Stephen Colbert
History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
Stephen Colbert
The greatest threat facing American today - next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark beetle, and the memory foam mattress - is the national news media.
Stephen Colbert
We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very crafted, controlled environment.
Stephen Colbert
If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
Stephen Colbert
What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
Stephen Colbert
It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
Stephen Colbert
There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.
Stephen Colbert
Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
Stephen Colbert