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Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Pie
Delicious
Easy
Pissing
Peta
Kitten

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
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Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.
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I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
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You gotta learn to love when you're failing.... The embracing of that, the discomfort of failing in front of an audience, leads you to penetrate through the fear that blinds you. Fear is the mind killer.
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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
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It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
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If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
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brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.
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Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
Stephen Colbert
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, I command you to do this. The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.
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Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
Stephen Colbert
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Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.
Stephen Colbert
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What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They're like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don't think of as malleable.
Stephen Colbert
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Mitt Romney's email was hacked! So if you start getting messages that sound like they're from a bot, he's fixed the problem.
Stephen Colbert
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I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.
Stephen Colbert
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Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
Stephen Colbert