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Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Easy
Pissing
Peta
Kitten
Pie
Delicious

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking.
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Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
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As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!
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I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
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Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.
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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
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My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
Stephen Colbert
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When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.
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Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.
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If I thought I knew what was going to happen, it wouldn't be worth doing. The challenge is how joyfully, with what sense of fun and adventure and playfulness, we will greet it. We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
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In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
Stephen Colbert
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If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?
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I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
Stephen Colbert
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The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.
Stephen Colbert
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
Stephen Colbert