Quote

It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Presidential
Surprise
Republican
Devastate
Community
Addicted
Black
Crack
Like
Cracks
Communities
Candidates

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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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I am no fan of books.
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And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name I'm not changing it.
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Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don't need to care about science, literature or peace.
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
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I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change my opinion never does.
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.
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The more you know, the sadder you get.
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Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.
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You have to have a passionate opinion otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
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I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!
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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
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I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.
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The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.
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My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
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