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It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Community
Addicted
Black
Crack
Like
Cracks
Communities
Candidates
Presidential
Surprise
Republican
Devastate

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I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change my opinion never does.
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I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.
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Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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Football is American why are the Romans numering our bowls?!
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The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
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I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman, whose experience as a failed vice presidential candidate, half-term governor and eight-episode reality star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal.
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In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
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I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
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If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
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Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for people with attention spans.
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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
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Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.
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I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
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For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
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