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Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Facts
Except
Democrats
Lead
Error
News
Plus
Economy
Points
Margin
Least
Democrat
Minus
Politics
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Capitalism
Foxes
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Ten
Polls
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
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The greatest threat facing American today - next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark beetle, and the memory foam mattress - is the national news media.
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If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'
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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.
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Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for people with attention spans.
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I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part of the show that can most surprise me. The written part of the show, I know I can get wrong. You can't really get the interview wrong.
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Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. (Said to President Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner)
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
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If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
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The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.
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A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
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When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.
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Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
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