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Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Facts
Except
Democrats
Lead
Error
News
Plus
Economy
Points
Margin
Least
Democrat
Minus
Politics
Errors
Margins
Funny
Capitalism
Foxes
Business
Ten
Polls

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What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They're like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don't think of as malleable.
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Some people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who can slip under your guard with a knife. But if you watch what I do, that's almost never the case. I'm just trying to keep the balloon in the air. It rarely turns into anything combative.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
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Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.
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Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.
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Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
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Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.
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Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. Performing the show is far more athletic and intuitive, because you don't get to do it twice. It helps if you've done whatever the old saw is, 10,000 hours of it. Because I've done 10,000 hours of comedy, I have this database in my mind of what works and what doesn't work.
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You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
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Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American.
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Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.
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We have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics. Like it's not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course, there - there isn't.
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Foreign newspapers: if they've got nothing to hide, how come they don't print them in English?
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As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
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In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.
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In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
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If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
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Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all okay.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
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