Quote

I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!

Stephen Colbert

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Machines
Killing
Bears
Creatures
Except
Soul
Believe
Godless

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

Image
In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.
Stephen Colbert
Image
My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'
Stephen Colbert
Image
Obamacare takes effect in less than eight months. Do you realize what this means? If you go to the emergency room now, you'll be covered by the time you finally see a doctor.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
Stephen Colbert
Image
When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.
Stephen Colbert
Image
There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.
Stephen Colbert
Image
We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
Stephen Colbert
Image
There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
Stephen Colbert
Image
It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, I command you to do this. The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
Stephen Colbert
Image
You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.
Stephen Colbert
Image
We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
Stephen Colbert