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The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Lead
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Endorsing
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Creed
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Obama
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Creeds
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Politician
Sarcastic
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
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If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking.
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I'm impervious to logic.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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I hadn't intended to end up there. I meant to be a serious actor with a beard who wore a lot of black and wanted to share his misery with you.
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I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.
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Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.
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You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.
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I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
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Some people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who can slip under your guard with a knife. But if you watch what I do, that's almost never the case. I'm just trying to keep the balloon in the air. It rarely turns into anything combative.
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If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
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Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!
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To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.
Stephen Colbert
What are the origins of dressage? Did just, one day, some young horse say to his dad, 'Dad, I don't want to charge into battle...I just wanna dance'?
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
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Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!
Stephen Colbert
I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
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