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The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Well
Politician
Sarcastic
Lead
Singer
Endorsing
Says
Settling
Settles
Winning
Voting
Endorse
Funny
Presidential
Creed
President
Singers
Sarcasm
Political
Obama
Usa
Wells
Election
Creeds

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
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Cardinal Dolan, of course, has a very, very hard job: trying to hold up Catholic family values in sexually liberal New York City. I'm not saying New York is the Gay Mecca. But it's at least Gay-rusalem.
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It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, I command you to do this. The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.
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I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.
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I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.
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I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.
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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
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If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
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(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
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We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and Republicans alike....We voted for the people who voted for it, and then voted for the people who reauthorized it, then voted for the people who re-re-authorize d it.
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If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.
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I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
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...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
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There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
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My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'
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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
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