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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Pizza
Kingdom
Kingdoms
Dogs
Loves
Dog
Animal
Everybody

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
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Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.
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I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.
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It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.
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Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
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Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
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News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.
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And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
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Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
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Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
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I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
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Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.
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Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
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All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.
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