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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Kingdoms
Dogs
Loves
Dog
Animal
Everybody
Pizza
Kingdom
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.
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Equations are the devil's sentences.
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I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
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It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
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If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
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No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
Stephen Colbert
President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
Stephen Colbert
If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
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You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
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What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
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Will Herman Cain become the first black President that I acknowledge? I call him a dark horse because he's an unlikely candidate who surged forward, and not because he's a horse.
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If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
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Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.
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I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
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Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.
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Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American.
Stephen Colbert