Quote

Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Teach
Also
Give
Giving
Blows
Men
Bomb
Bombs
Suicide
Blow

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for people with attention spans.
Stephen Colbert
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Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.
Stephen Colbert
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No one has any idea what's going to happen. Not even Elon Musk. That's why he's building those rockets. He wants a 'Plan B' on another world.
Stephen Colbert
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I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.
Stephen Colbert
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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
Stephen Colbert
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
Stephen Colbert
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You have to have a passionate opinion otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
Stephen Colbert
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
Stephen Colbert
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
Stephen Colbert
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The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
Stephen Colbert
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.
Stephen Colbert
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Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
Stephen Colbert
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I am no fan of books.
Stephen Colbert
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New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
Stephen Colbert
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If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?
Stephen Colbert
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Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
Stephen Colbert
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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
Stephen Colbert
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North Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'
Stephen Colbert
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News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.
Stephen Colbert
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable on notice? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?
Stephen Colbert