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Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Building
Religious
Thing
Really
Think
Symbol
Thinking
Destroying
Symbols
Center
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
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Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.
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I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.
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In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
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NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
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Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
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I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
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Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
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You gotta learn to love when you're failing.... The embracing of that, the discomfort of failing in front of an audience, leads you to penetrate through the fear that blinds you. Fear is the mind killer.
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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
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I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
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Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.
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Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
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If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
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