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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Necks
Muslim
Vampire
Protect
Making
Halal
Vampires
Neck
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NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
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Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
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I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
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I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.
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Of the over 100,000 wildfires that happen in the U.S. each year, not a single one would get started without the fire triangle: Oxygen, heat and fuel. Fire needs all three to exist. It's like the three branches of our government: Legislative, judicial and executive. The fewer there are, the safer we are.
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A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
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I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.
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And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name I'm not changing it.
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Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.
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In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
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I am no fan of books.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
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Football is American why are the Romans numering our bowls?!
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