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If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Around
Falls
Care
Woods
Hard
Happen
Really
Poor
Times
Family
Fall
Happens

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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
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Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.
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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
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It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
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They think I'm silly. I do silly things. I fall down and run into things. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll hold a pickup stick to my ear and say, What? What's that? I can't hear you
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In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
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I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
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Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.
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Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
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Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
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Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.
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Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
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My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
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Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried. McCain may be behind, but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'quit.' He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate.
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Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
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Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'
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