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I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Majority
Vote
Fans
Reality
Always

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
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Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.
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Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
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The more you know, the sadder you get.
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I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.
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I'm impervious to logic.
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Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
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And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know - these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.
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If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
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Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
Stephen Colbert
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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
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And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
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What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!
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I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.
Stephen Colbert
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Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian.
Stephen Colbert
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To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.
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It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.
Stephen Colbert