Quote

I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.

Stephen Colbert

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Fans
Reality
Always
Majority
Vote

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

Image
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
Stephen Colbert
Image
You are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what's going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say 'yes.' And if you're lucky, you'll find people who will say 'yes' back.
Stephen Colbert
Image
News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.
Stephen Colbert
Image
NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
Stephen Colbert
Image
If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
Stephen Colbert
Image
brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
Stephen Colbert
Image
...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Mitt Romney's email was hacked! So if you start getting messages that sound like they're from a bot, he's fixed the problem.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. Performing the show is far more athletic and intuitive, because you don't get to do it twice. It helps if you've done whatever the old saw is, 10,000 hours of it. Because I've done 10,000 hours of comedy, I have this database in my mind of what works and what doesn't work.
Stephen Colbert
Image
In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
Stephen Colbert