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Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Corporations
Mouths
Speech
Free
Speak
Hands
Like
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
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If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
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Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.
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Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
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I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
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I'm obviously younger, much better looking [then Jeorge W.Bush].He didn't veto things, he didn't bring order and fiscal restraint.
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Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.
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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
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Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
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Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
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Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.
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Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.
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I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
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If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
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