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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Wolves
Made
Assuming
Graduation
Life
Meet
Cell
Plans
Show
Assume
Inspirational
Cells
Shows
Phones
Didn
Snow
Devoured
Someone
Storm

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When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.
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For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
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If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.
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Equations are the devil's sentences.
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
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I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
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After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
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I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.
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