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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Made
Assuming
Wolves
Life
Meet
Graduation
Plans
Cell
Show
Assume
Inspirational
Cells
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Phones
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Snow
Someone
Storm
Devoured
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
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Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for people with attention spans.
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Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
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I'm impervious to logic.
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
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If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate
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It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.
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Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.
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If I thought I knew what was going to happen, it wouldn't be worth doing. The challenge is how joyfully, with what sense of fun and adventure and playfulness, we will greet it. We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American.
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Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
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No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
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If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.
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