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I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
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Books
Fact
Facts
Reality
Book
Heart

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.
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Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
Stephen Colbert
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Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
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I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.
Stephen Colbert
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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
Stephen Colbert
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Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.
Stephen Colbert
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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
Stephen Colbert
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If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
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You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
Stephen Colbert
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
Stephen Colbert
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Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
Stephen Colbert
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President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
Stephen Colbert
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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
Stephen Colbert
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Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
Stephen Colbert
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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
Stephen Colbert
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If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
Stephen Colbert
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I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
Stephen Colbert
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
Stephen Colbert
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The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.
Stephen Colbert