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No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Matter
Would
Grind
Identify
Proud
Clear
Born

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.
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I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
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Mitt Romney's email was hacked! So if you start getting messages that sound like they're from a bot, he's fixed the problem.
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
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Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
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I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change my opinion never does.
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Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don't need to care about science, literature or peace.
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And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
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If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
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Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian.
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.
Stephen Colbert
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
Stephen Colbert
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable on notice? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
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