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If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
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Breadwinner
Women
Dough
Home
Bacon
Men
Complain
People
Complaining
Confused
Hungry
Bring
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
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I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change my opinion never does.
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If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?
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If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking.
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Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
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If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
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If I thought I knew what was going to happen, it wouldn't be worth doing. The challenge is how joyfully, with what sense of fun and adventure and playfulness, we will greet it. We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
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To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.
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There's a wonderfully cooperative relationship between management and labor right now. Much like the historic partnership between oranges and a juicer.
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We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.
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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
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I am no fan of books.
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In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
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