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Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Ignorance
Standing
Cold
Dead
Guns
Knowledge
Join
Away
Actual
Take
Gun
Mind
Minds
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
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And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
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To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.
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(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock
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Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.
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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
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What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
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Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!
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Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
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Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.
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President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
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In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.
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Of the over 100,000 wildfires that happen in the U.S. each year, not a single one would get started without the fire triangle: Oxygen, heat and fuel. Fire needs all three to exist. It's like the three branches of our government: Legislative, judicial and executive. The fewer there are, the safer we are.
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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
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I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
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As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
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This is America. I don't want a tomato picked by a Mexican. I want it picked by an American, then sliced by a Guatemalan and served by a Venezuelan in a spa where a Chilean gives me a Brazilian.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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