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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Totally
Loving
Coming
Mistake
Freedom
Defenseless
Make
Guns
Gun
Lovers

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
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I'm getting angry at liberals.
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Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
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I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
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I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.
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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
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Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.
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I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
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Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'
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Football is American why are the Romans numering our bowls?!
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I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
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Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American.
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They think I'm silly. I do silly things. I fall down and run into things. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll hold a pickup stick to my ear and say, What? What's that? I can't hear you
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Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.
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Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
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Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!
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