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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Coming
Mistake
Freedom
Defenseless
Make
Guns
Gun
Lovers
Totally
Loving

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
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I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
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I do my show half-hour a night four nights a week. I haven't seen my kids in 18 months, and I am losing calcium in my bones. Doctors say I should stop. I'm not going to.
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Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
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Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
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Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
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Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.
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People would say, Oh, you say you just do jokes. I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.
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And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name I'm not changing it.
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If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
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New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
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I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.
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Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried. McCain may be behind, but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'quit.' He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate.
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There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
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I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
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I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
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Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
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Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.
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